My Life in Letters to You

captions for the images you left in my head

Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can’t get any better, it can.

Nicholas Sparks, At First Sight (via observando)

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth.

Jess C. Scott, The Intern (via observando)

My facade was first-rate. I appeared to be in good spirits, while inside I was dying a thousand deaths. I deserved an award for my acting

Steve Pavilanis (via youre1inamillion)

(via fuckyeahreading)

The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.

Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters (via observando)

Look at the sky. We are not alone. The whole universe is friendly to us and conspires only to give the best to those who dream and work.

A. P. J. Abdul Kalam (via observando)

Summer Sets In

Today the winds blew in summer’s heat and the smell just overwhelmed me, taking me back to 10 years ago…

Summer was his season. The heat, the passion, the stolen glances and silent words. Fall belonged to someone else. Someone who spoke through music. The holidays? The holidays always reminded me of the evasive one. He who I still miss to this day, who I still crave to know and memorize, because my memory fails me and I no longer remember the sound of his voice, or his beautiful eyes. The enigma who arrived with such promise but left with more questions than the visible stars at night.

Time takes us away and puts space between who we were and who we are now. Memories collect dust, physically and mentally, and then it becomes an effort to either remember or forget. That’s the hard part—choosing between remembering, which can fill you with so much love, or forgetting, which can drain you off all your emotions. There is no in between. There’s just you and your memory.

"You say your head can be a prison, and these are just conjugal visits."

Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.

Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum LP (via observando)

Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.

Michael Leunig (via observando)

Most insane people are funny.

Helena Bonham Carter (via observando)

How does one live with guilt?

How could I want someone, something so bad it drives me insane, that my heart rages against the universe and its cruelty? How dare the universe give me someone I could never have, and let me have these moments of false intimacy with him?

Knowing he loves her—will always choose her—makes me sick, makes me want to vomit all the bile I’ve been keeping for so long. The bitterness is consuming, the way I want him, the way he wants me too, somehow, makes me want to hurl. Because it is a sick, sad world we’re living in and I am broken, shattered into pieces each time I look at him and wish he could have loved me instead.

I wish I could break someone as much as he could break me. I want him to feel the emptiness, the brokenness of all this. How it all comes down to me being defective, unlike the others. How it all comes down to this: I am just another insignificant girl. Another one night stand. Another forgettable experience he won’t look back to.

I am exhausted beyond words. The emptiness has finally caught up with me, after ten long years. And I am at the brink of self-destruction.