Sometimes I feel like I’d rather lose someone to death than circumstance because knowing they’re alive and well out there just hurts a tiny little bit. The thing with falling out of love for each other is that it’s never really the same for both people. For one it may be easy because of distance or conflicts in schedules or something along those lines.
It’s sad to give up. It’s even sadder to make the decision to give up. To cut ties. Especially in this time and age when it’s so easy to watch someone else’s life in pictures. When burning bridges meant deleting numbers and electronic friendships just like you would delete histories. But erasing histories that are stored in your mind, in your heart…that’s just something entirely different. It’s not as easy as clicking a button and it sure as hell hurts like a bitch. Because that’s where the forgetting comes in. That’s when you have to battle yourself and the things you thought you would never have to let go of.
We weren’t taught to let go in school. We weren’t taught that even good things come to an end. Even the strongest friendships can be torn apart by depression. Time. Circumstance. Tragedy. Death. Literally or otherwise. It’s so much easier to think that this person died and stopped existing when we fall out of love for them, or if they fall out of love for us.
Oh and there’s the missing part. The part where you loathe yourself for even thinking that maybe somewhere out there, they’re thinking of you too. THEY’RE NOT. Get over yourself. The sooner you accept that, the better you can handle your feelings. They’ve moved on with their lives. Got married. Had kids. Ran away. Landed the job of their dreams. Had their fairyfuckingtale ending. And you’re not part of it. So do yourself a favor and close that chapter. They already closed yours. It’s time to write a new one. This time with you in charge of your story. You’re not in college anymore. You sure as hell aren’t in grade school anymore so don’t compare her cute pop up pencilcase to your outdated metalbox that can silence a crowd when it falls to the ground.
Stop looking at what society or the fucking media dictates as successful. Or beautiful. Or sexy. Or smart. Be your own kind of beautiful and successful. Be your own person. Most of all, love yourself first. Just love yourself. In little, tiny ways like refusing to be someone’s last choice. Refusing people who do not deserve your attention. People who don’t deserve you.
So love yourself, okay? Love yourself because you are strong and you are beautiful. I say so and that is what I believe in.